look no pants
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Randomize
