I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
