my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
