Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
