so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
