I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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