ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
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He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
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I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
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