she was so not down for the gang bang
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Randomize
