I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
i think i scared a bird with my dick
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
