someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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