I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
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