I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
is it fun? or sober?
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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