Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
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