we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
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RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
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We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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