my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
So apparently I’m into choking now
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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