curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Randomize
