Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
