someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
