I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
