I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
True strength comes from lack of pants
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
