I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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