She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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