Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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