So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
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