So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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