you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize