Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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