tell your sister to shave her snatch
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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