Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
