I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
