I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
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