community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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