9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize
