Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
