it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I checked into jail on foursquare
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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