when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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