drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
