I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
