I like my sex mixed with concussions.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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