You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Randomize
