Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
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