And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
