Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
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frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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