Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
