no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
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