I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
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