I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
