508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
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