He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize