4 words: hood of his car
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
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Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
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The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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