your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
