Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
