i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Randomize
