im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
There's always time for handjobs
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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