I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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