Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
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