Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
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