Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
You were trust falling into bushes
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
