Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
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