I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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