Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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