They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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