I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
