And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
