i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
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Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
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Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
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