it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
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I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
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Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
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