doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
