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• (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.

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• (214): View more from Texas

  ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.

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• (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.

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• (443): View more from Maryland

  i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?

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• (510): View more from California

  I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms

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• (918): View more from Oklahoma

  Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?

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• (250): View more from British Columbia

  After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all

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• (860): View more from Connecticut

  You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.

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• (580): View more from Oklahoma

  the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.

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• (317): View more from Indiana

  There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load

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• (905): View more from Ontario

  Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???

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• (913): View more from Kansas

  Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.

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• (402): View more from Nebraska

  Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?

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• (727): View more from Florida

  I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!

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• (501): View more from Arkansas

  I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.

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