So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Randomize
