so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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